Who is an adversary?

Almost everyone has an enemy, or an adversary. Even my cousin sister in school has made a couple of enemies as they possibly pulled her hair or pushed her. As I kept probing deeply to find the reason why adversaries are so commonplace , I realized after significant research that it happens because we fundamentally tend to dislike someone different from us, someone better than us, thereby developing a grudge against that person. This we can resolve with the magic of humility.

To resolve this grudge or conflict, we need to first cross the enemy lines. For that, we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and that is possible only if we enter our enemies’ space. Ironically, our enemies have more in common with us than anyone else, but we do not admit it because we simply assume them to be the counterpoint of ourselves. Nevertheless, being different from us does not mean we can be rude with them and hurt their feelings.

 

Ally and adversary: how to bridge the gap

Talking to our enemies on even one common element of common interest, can forge a human connection that can change them to our allies from adversaries. Rather than trying to score above our enemies and defeat them, we can  learn valuable lessons from our adversaries as we work toward win-win solutions through the magic of humility. As we sit to discuss with our adversary, we should think of a situation beneficial for both of us. This can happen when we let go of the idea that we have to be against them always.

Staying humble greatly affects our relationship with people. Sometimes, it is our pride that causes us to make enemies. I think we can make friends of our enemies by trying to understand things from their point of view, initiating a conversation with them on common topics, making them feel that they can trust us like their friends, looking for the best in them instead of their shortcomings, and resolve a difference by talking things out.

 

The values of humility

Humility teaches us to value people and consider them valuable enough to take their feelings into account. We appreciate the values of staying modest, helping others without expecting or asking for anything in return, respecting their opinions and seeing things from their point of view. Without a feeling of arrogance or self-praise, we realize our strengths.

We inhabit a world where society equates humility with weakness. We need to break through this mental shackle. The world needs to be seen with a realistic view, keeping the bigger picture in mind. In fact, humility brings more success than pride, because the humble are always willing to learn more, are happy to accept advice and suggestions and thus perform better at work. In today’s complicated world, humility is the tool for survival. Differences and discrimination around us can get wiped out as one takes the first step, initiates a conversation, turning our adversaries into allies through a simple act of humility.

 

Author

The article has been contributed by Sneha Agarwal, a student of St Josephs High School, Matigara, Darjeeling.