Rejection: its effects on the mind.

Each one of us have encountered rejection in life, be that in a test, not being selected as the part of a team, an unsuccessful interview, among friends or in a  relationship. Rejection is experienced at every cornerstone of life. It has adverse effect on us and our self-esteem,  leading to self-criticism and a loss of self-worth. It may lead to loneliness and depression. It makes us lose faith in self and prevents us from trying any further.
A critical analysis of rejection reveals the reason behind our feeling of rejection. Humans, are social creatures and so desire social contact, crave social acceptance. This makes our non-acceptance or rejection  incite negative feelings and emotions.

 

Rejection- a historical evolution

The feeling of rejection is believed to have developed into an evolutionary tool to alert early humans who were at risk of being ostracized from the tribe they belonged to. A painful rejection from others in the tribe was likely to encourage an individual to modify any problematic behaviour to avoid further rejection, or ostracism, from the tribe.
Those who were able to avoid further rejection were more likely to survive, while those who did not find rejection to be particularly painful may not have corrected the offending behaviour, making them less likely to survive. In this way, humans may have evolved to experience rejection as painful. Today, many people isolate themselves or hold back from connecting to others because they are afraid of being rejected. Fear of, or sensitivity to rejection that causes someone to pull away from others can lead to chronic feelings of loneliness and depression.

 

How to handle rejection

Humility is a great trait that can empower us handle rejection. However, here we are not talking of passive, submissive humility, rather of humility with confidence. This means expressing oneself fearlessly while acknowledging others point of view. Rick Warren rightly states, “Humility is not denying your strengths, humility is being honest about your weaknesses”. Humble people just do not feel the impetus to boast about themselves but instead let their actions speak for their ideals.

 

Rejection as an opportunity

Rejection can be surprisingly beneficial. It can motivate us to do better, teach us patience, provide us with an opportunity to learn something about ourselves.
J K Rowling is one of the most powerful instances of one who leapt to popularity and success by overcoming rejection. The author of Harry Potter, her scripts had been rejected by twelve publishing houses before being picked up by Bloomsbury.
Rejection is one of life’s most painful experiences, especially if we are used to be successful. But, underneath the disappointment underlying rejection, there are lessons and growth awaiting us if we have the courage and humility to uncover them.

 

 

About the authors

The article has been contributed by the following students from St. Joseph’s High School, Matigara, Darjeeling: Khushi Pradhan, Khusshi Mittal, Pooja Saha and Prajjwalita Kundu.