People fear exposing the part of themselves that they do not like. It could be a weakness in any form, divulgence of which instils a sense of diffidence and withdrawal. It is a whorl of insecurity, stemming at several levels and layers. Whether it is worth it, is the point to explore and uncover.
Handling ourselves better
June 29, 2024by Editorial Team
Our experience with vulnerability
Everyone aspires to be perfect. In the process we compare ourselves with others, creating a feeling of inadequacy in ourselves. This stems from our societal conditioning whereby we are taught to be strong, invincible and flawless; where anything otherwise is seen as weakness. .Negative experiences or feedback from the past and fear of failure also cause people to be critical of their actions. Sometimes, critical and demanding parents can impart a strong inner critic in children.
Handling our pains
When we feel vulnerable, we mostly stoop in negativity apprehending slightful reactions from others. In real life however, if we muster up courage to go up to the person and speak out our vulnerability, we are mostly shown concern and compassion. When a student exposes her vulnerability and asks for help from a friend or a teacher, not only does she improve her understanding of the subject but also feels more confident in the ability to overcome challenges. In fact, we also realise that some of our friends might be facing a similar problem, which we try to overcome together. Seeking help, thus, is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Vulnerability decoded
When we talk about exposing our vulnerability, we refer to our true selves shining through our actions even if it might feel uncomfortable or risky. We embrace our imperfections and use them as a source of strength. We are open to new experiences without the fear of making mistakes. Not only does this give us courage but also joy and creativity. This makes it imperative that we share our fears, hopes and dreams in order to discover the incredible strength, joy, and creativity that lie within ourselves. Adolescence is a period of transition in our lives. It represents the shift from being a dependent child to becoming an independent adult. It is also a time of great vulnerability and opportunity. A study by Bluth et al. (2017) on 1057 students in USA, showed that adolescents who are more self-compassionate are also more curious and they more readily take positive risks. Similar result was also found for adults from the research by Neff et al. (2005).
If we think of ourselves standing on an ocean shore, we experience the gentle soothing waves along with the turbulent ones. Similarly in real life, cutting ourselves off from the uncomfortable experiences will deprive us the richness of life.
Our inspiration in vulnerability
Some of the greatest works of art, literature, and music have come from moments of vulnerability—when artists have dared to bare their souls to the world. It’s in those moments of raw emotion and honesty that true creativity flourishes, sparking ideas and innovations that can change the world. Their extraordinary works are a result of living life wholeheartedly, by embracing their vulnerabilities. In our lives, the moments of most intense joy- whether it is the birth of a child, falling in love, achieving a long-sought-after goal, or simply sharing a deep conversation with a friend- have been those when we have fully engaged with life, with all its risks and uncertainties.
To live a rich, meaningful, and wholehearted life, we must embrace the full spectrum of our emotions. This requires courage and vulnerability, but the rewards are profound. By allowing ourselves to feel deeply, we open ourselves up to the beauty and joy that life has to offer.
About the authors
The article has been contributed by the following students from Our Lady Queen of the Missions School, Park Circus, Kolkata: Eram Zulfiqar, Chandrika Jana and Adrika Shaw.